When I rejoined Mensa a few years ago after a 20-year hiatus, I did so for the same reason I had joined originally: to form new friendships and have the pleasure of hearing original thinkers and creators.

I was immediately swept up into the short roster of those who serve. First I was Membership Chairman and PR Chairman, and later I was LocSec, PR Chairman, Testing Coordinator and Calendar Chairman. Those last four titles were at times concurrent but not resented. I kept looking for volunteers, who suspected, rightly, that it wouldn't be a short-term hitch. In a small group like ours, the fact that most of the membership likes to stay home and participate only by reading the Bulletin and local group newsletter always causes a serious personnel problem.

The major reason I try to serve cheerfully in so many capacities is that my chapter has perfected the art of appreciating its volunteers. None of us are paid on the local level, but the kindness is one of the sweetest fruits of labor there is, and I cannot count the people in this group who consider me a friend without ever having met me. "Entre Nous" is the name of my LocSec column, which really does feel as if it is "just between us." If I worry in print, a new friend calls me from 70 miles south of here to say she's been through the same thing and I'll be all right.

I'm not as intellectual as some members, but I may have a wee talent for friendship. I think that all of us could cultivate that talent, especially when it comes to regarding the National Office staff as "unmet friends." I ask frequent questions of the staff, and some of them are of the pesky "why" variety. I may annoy some of their people, but they are invariably polite and helpful. The paid employees of American Mensa are not allowed Mensa membership, but that does not mean they are not of excellent mental caliber; and the elected officers (for whom we have nobody to blame but ourselves!) also deserve the potential status of friendship, if only on the basis that they, too, are volunteers.

Some people allow themselves to be almost defined by their Mensa memberships. I had friendships and a rich life before I joined, but membership offers me the opportunity to get to know even more wonderful, exciting people on a consistent basis. The only axe I generally grind is my own, but I have no fear of taking on the decisions Mensa makes that I see as ill-advised, if these actions make us look less than the bright and canny people we are.

I was extremely upset about the endorsement Mensa sold to Smirnoff Vodka. I'm not against alcohol, but I am very much against the cavalier attitude behind such an endorsement ... as if our opinions are for sale! I was also baffled back when I first rejoined Mensa by sending the National Office my money and my old membership number and asking them to reinstate me. They sat on it for three months while the local group Nominating Committee was trying to get me to run for office.

The National Office said they thought it was a "contribution."

So, although I'm not always happy with American Mensa, especially when its behavior is more incomprehensible to me than, say, Alcoholics Anonymous, I make an effort not to abuse the individual volunteers or staff. Mensa could take a tip or two from Alcoholics Anonymous, now that I think of it. AA, like Mensa, holds no opinions. AA leaves each group in a strictly local autonomy. It has no dues and is supported totally by contributions.

For some admirable reason, AA doesn't seem to have many big shots. There are no national conventions as we know them in Mensa, and we do not see national committee meetings taking place in expensive hotels in various attractive parts of the world while the membership foots the bill without having any say in it. Of course, these people, deconstructed from their original egos and rebuilt in a stronger structure, have learned to love themselves and others with a rather charming lack of self-seeking.

Oops. I digress wildly. Far be it from me to suggest that our leaders in American Mensa support themselves on what the local chapters feel they can contribute. My bad.

—Nancy Park