Harvesting the Fruit of Phone Trees

(While Avoiding Falling Nuts)

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this George Smith?"

"Yes…"

"Um, hi, my name is Daniel, and I'm calling on behalf of Mensa Society …"

"Omigod! How did you find me?" (It's OK, Honey — a wrong number, I think ... hey, is the cat coughing up a hairball in the living room again?) "Don't EVER call this number; my wife thinks I shoot pool on Friday nights. Well, she's in the other room now; what do you want? Make it snappy ..."

Seriously, it's highly unlikely that your call will inspire anyone to flee the country. In fact, an evening spent phoning on Mensa's behalf more often yields serendipitous results as you make personal contact with old friends — or with friends you hadn't met before. Judicious use of a Phone Tree (not "telemarketing," please) is often the very best way to get the word out widely and rapidly, even in the age of "instant communication" via e-mail. And when a call to action becomes necessary, a personal, verbal communication easily trumps anything cyberspace (or any other medium) has to offer.

OK; enough pre(r)amble. Your group has just been invited to participate in a book drive on Saturday. It's Tuesday. What do you do?

USE THE ORGANIZATION

Every group has a structure; in this respect, Mensa differs not at all from Kiwanis, NOW, or the Episcopal Church. That structural frame is perfect to hang a phone tree on, and whether it's the Chair, the Primate (I'd love to get a call from a primate) or the LocSec, the office gives an immediate sense of identity to the recipient: "This is not a telemarketing call — I know these people." So, be sure to invoke the "M" word in your first sentence, and mention that you're calling on behalf of a name or title they'll recognize: "George, this is Daniel Gilmore with Mensa Society. Our Local Group Secretary, Bob Jones, asked me to call you, and I promised him I would. I need to let you know …"

THE KEY: DELEGATE

Well, let's say your local group has 800 members, your ExCom five. Does this mean every officer must make 159 phone calls? Of course not; this is where phactorial phoning (I'm really, really sorry about that) comes in. The ExCom, meeting in executive session and wearing disguises for fear of retribution, identifies 25 or so reasonably active members who can usually be counted on to perform necessary tasks. (Note: if you can't identify that percentage of worker bees in your local group — about three out of every 100 members — it's highly unlikely that you read Going Forward.) Each ExCom member calls five of those worker bees, who in turn call five more each, and ta-DA: The contact responsibility has diminished from the LocSec's 799 phone calls through the ExCom's 159 to fewer than six contacts required per caller. Effort: Minimal. Results: Better than any mailer, mass e-mail or even newspaper headline could hope to achieve.

KEEP IT SIMPLE; EVEN FOR MENSANS

Mensa Society is full of Verbaholics. While joining OnAnon is the only option for many, the phone tree is not the place to experiment. Have a phone script ready (really — jot down an outline, at least) and make sure it's short, simple and to the point: "Hi, is this ______? This is John, with Southeast Michigan Mensa. Diane Hartt, our Local Group Secretary, asked me to please give you a quick call. We're participating in a book drive this Saturday at Michigan State University's student union building, and it will mean lots of exposure and publicity for us — not to mention that it's for a good cause. I wondered if you'd be able to help out by donating any used books you have? And would you be willing to call a few other Mensans for us, to ask them the same thing?"

The shorter, the better. Remember, even though this isn't "telemarketing," it can feel like it to the folks getting the calls. Don't waste their time with "how are you?" or "great weather we're having" or "how 'bout them Wolverines?" unless you actually know the person you're calling and you're sure such banalities are welcomed. Politely get to the point, and get to it soon. (Also keep in mind: This is a volunteer organization. Do not say, "You've been selected to make the following phone calls," or even, "We'd like you to make these calls." Rather, ask: "Would you be willing to make a few phone calls to help get the word out about our local Mensa group's upcoming book drive?" Words like please, thank you, excuse me, and the like are also advantageous, and they don't cost a dime.)

PLAN YOUR WORK

You need to make six phone calls? Not a daunting task, but a bigger one than taking out the garbage. Block out a time period and some desk space, and then (to steal a corporate motto) just DO it. What, you don't already personally know the guy or gal you're calling? Remember, this person chose to join Mensa; he or she will recognize the name, even if you're an otherwise perfect stranger (and remember, no one is perfect). In fact, you'll probably be amazed at how warmly you're received in virtually all cases. Lots of Mensans drop out because they perceive that the group as a whole is indifferent to them as individuals, and something as seemingly inconsequential as a book drive could turn things around for them. It's personal contact, and there's no substitute for it.

ORGANIZE

The CyberAge cannot and has not usurped the phone tree, but it has made it much easier to implement. Remember that 800-member group whose five-member ExCom needed to notify each member? Well, each officer gets an e-mailed list of 159 members with phone numbers; he or she can in turn break the list up and e-mail the pertinent portions to those five "lieutenants." What, not everybody has e-mail? Don't worry; phone trees predate e-mail by 100 years or so. Just use the "old-fashioned" methods of transmitting information: Written lists that are handed off, faxed, mailed or dictated over the phone. But use e-mail when you can; it's a revolutionary, timesaving convenience — just as the telephone itself was, not so long ago.

KEEP "ON TOP OF IT"

Each "captain" in this nonmilitary cadre must recognize his or her place in the chain of command/responsibility and be willing to keep track of the "lieutenants" — his or her share of those 25 worker bees — and, if their calls have not been made, must try to find others to stand in the gap. Did one of your lieutenants fail to follow through? Sorry; you can't have him shot. (I know I've just disappointed several local group officers.) You can replace him or her, however. The next guy on the list may or may not want to participate so actively, but he has to be called anyway, so why not ask him? Too, he may just volunteer to make a dozen or more calls (though you shouldn't ask for more than six). If so, let him. Rule Two of dealing with volunteers is Never Turn Down Offers Of Help. (Rule One, of course, is Treat Them Right.)

[Note: In about 40 years' worth of phone-treeing, I've never seen a perfect, 100% effective effort, one that got through to everybody. A few people always get left out. However, success rarely depends upon full, 100% participation. Often, a winning phone tree campaign garners "only" a 50 _ 60% activity level; still, that's far greater than the approximately 2% direct mail gets, or the .003% (and falling) of e-mail spam. (Hey, who's gonna see "Mensa" amongst all the enlarge-your-mortgage-prescription-lose-weight-travel-cheap that litters our inboxes hourly?) If your group needs 100% participation in something, consult a lawyer, not me.]

ADDED BENEFITS

Whatever the cause — book drive, blood drive or even proxy drive — a phone tree will give your local group a boost in attendance (and would certainly give all of Mensa a boost, if ever implemented on a national level) as former non-active members begin to get involved. Plan on offering more diet soda and coffee, and a lot more chocolate (there's never enough anyway) at your next monthly meeting. Plan, too, on figuring out ways to keep your newly active members involved — but that's for another article.

Lastly: Remember that a phone tree is a serious undertaking that needs to be used sparingly; it's in no way a substitute for a decent monthly newsletter or an up-to-date Website. Growing your group is a positive side benefit, but that should never be the primary focus of a phone tree. So, when there's a rare but urgent need to get the word out fast as a call to action, go to the Tree.

I'll see you in the branches.

— Daniel Gilmore